Cutting back on alcohol reduced my circle of friends

I grew up in a big family. Three brothers and one sister.

There was always noise. Movement. People in the house.

I went to different high schools, which meant different groups of friends. I was never really stuck in one circle. I played sports my whole life. I am a team player by nature.

I was always surrounded.

I do not say this to brag. It is just context.

I like being around people. I like organizing things. I like bringing people together. Dinners. Trips. Parties. Game nights. I enjoy being the one who creates the moment.

For most of my life, having a big circle felt natural.

Then life shifts.

You get older.
You have kids.
Work becomes heavier.
Responsibilities become real.

The circle starts to reduce.

This part is normal. Almost everyone I know who's around my age experienced the same thing. It is organic. It makes sense.

Time becomes scarce.

And time is not something you can negotiate with. You cannot create more of it. You start realizing that every evening out, every dinner, every weekend has a cost.

With maturity comes clarity. With losses around you, perspective changes. You start asking yourself different questions. Am I spending my time where it truly matters?

On top of that, I stopped drinking alcohol.

And that is when I noticed something else.

Another layer of reduction.

Just because when alcohol is no longer the center of the activity, some relationships feel different.

Some friendships were built on shared values.
Some on growth.
Some on history.

And some were simply built on drinking together.

When you remove that piece, you see what remains.

I realized that with some people, once we were not drinking, we did not really know each other that well.

My rule became simple: if I do not know whether you have a sister or a brother, you are probably not a real friend.

You might be a good person.
We might laugh together.
We might have had great nights out.

But real friends know your story. They know your family. They know what keeps you up at night.

And you know theirs.

A big circle looks good. It feels good. It gives you the impression of being connected.

But the foundation of a real friendship is not how many people you can invite to a party.
It is who would show up when something is not fun anymore.

Alcohol did not destroy my friendships.

It filtered them.

And honestly, I am okay with that.

The circle is smaller now.

But it is deeper.
More intentional.
More real.

And that is exactly the life I want.

SP.